Hebrews 2:18 AMPC
[18] For because He Himself [in His humanity] has suffered in being tempted (tested and tried), He is able [immediately] to run to the cry of (assist, relieve) those who are being tempted and tested and tried [and who therefore are being exposed to suffering].
Choosing to live for God is not easy. It, like anything else, comes with its own set of challenges, like constantly denying your flesh and remembering that God is not a genie. It sounds like a good idea, and it’s definitely the thing we should all be striving to do, but it isn’t a light load to carry. When I chose to follow Christ for real this time, temptation did not end. In fact, it increased. It’s as if my mind has become an even bigger battleground. My dreams range from triggering to terrifying, and my intrusive thoughts have been insane. I’m constantly having to pray in the Spirit and talk to God aloud to keep myself together. But honestly, that’s been the best part. It’s like the added pressure to live right instead of falling back into old habits and familiarity is pushing me further into fellowship with God. I have shut off all access to anything that could rob me of my purpose—social media, music, TV shows and movies, friends, exes, etc. I’m focused on God and locked into His word so that I can continue to resist the enemy.
I do not want to go backwards, but do you know how much easier it would be to do so? It’s easy to send a quick text, hit a blunt, and go right back to a compromising lifestyle, but how much would it cost me? All of the pain I’ve endured and the decisions I’ve had to make over the last year would have all been for nothing, and for what? A quick fix that’ll only soothe a moment at the cost of a lifetime. It’s not worth it. The purpose and plan that God has for my life is worth every sacrifice it takes to get there. Reaching my destiny matters more to me than succumbing to temporary satisfaction because it will affect me and every person connected to me, starting with my family, which is my first ministry. Motherhood has made me prioritize family infinitely more and take my faith walk seriously for once in my life. The choices I make, whether wrong or right, have a lasting impact on the future I step into. I want to be a strong godly example for my children and everyone who looks up to me, in both words and in action.
Until I decided in my heart that I would no longer submit to the enemy’s plans for my life and I finally released all of the things God had been telling me to let go of, I was stuck in a loop—making up with God then breaking up with Him to get back with the world. I was trapped in the prison of my own choices. The keyword here is choice. We often emphasize that God can’t make us do anything because He’s given us free will, but the same applies to the enemy. We are not forced to do bad things. We choose to do bad things. Just like God can’t make us live for Him, the enemy can’t make us sin; he only presents us with opportunities to sin. It’s up to us what we decide to do from there. Every single moment of our lives is filled with choices. Do this, don’t do that. To do this or not to do this. While the details of our lives aren’t always within our direct control, our choices have the power to lead us down paths that can either make us or break us.
Many of the choices I made towards the end of my teen years, leading into my twenties, laid a foundation for the things I would later experience. I did not have healthy friendships, I hadn’t established my own beliefs outside of blindly following the traditions I was raised with, I carried a lot of unforgiveness and bitterness in my heart, and I hadn’t dealt with or even acknowledged most of the trauma I had previously endured. I was in an incredibly vulnerable place at 18 years old. By this point, I wasn’t going to church very often, I had stopped serving in ministry altogether, I was isolated due to an unnecessarily heavy workload I placed upon myself for lack of faith in God to provide for me, and I was damaged from familial and romantic relationships. I was desperate to be deeply known, and I believe the enemy knew that. During that pivotal season of my life, I made a connection through shared trauma that would take me completely off course for the next seven years. I remember hearing the voice of God telling me to run from this connection early on, and I did, only to go right back to it a month later. That was my choice. I didn’t know the path it would send me down then, but I chose to disobey God, and turmoil was the result.
My point in mentioning that story is that the enemy only has as much power in our lives as we give him. Although I had moments of conviction throughout this period that would temporarily lead me back to God, I would always leave a door open for the enemy to walk back through, setting myself up to eventually undo all of the progress I’d make. I convinced myself that somehow, someway, I could partake in the things of the world and still have a relationship with God. However, I was forfeiting the intimacy and closeness I desired with God by willfully engaging in the behaviors I knew would break His heart. Any attempt to compromise with sin is disobedience to God. What I’m learning on my journey to release control and trust God is that the more I ignore His voice in the small things, the harder it is to submit to His direction when the big things come. I haven’t yet mastered the art of trusting God because I’ve feared being disappointed by Him. This fear stemmed from me not knowing the promises of God for my life. I had to come to the realization that being raised in church and hearing the word of God preached didn’t mean that the word of God was in my heart or that I believed it to be true for me.
It is impossible to trust God and actively disobey His word. It is also impossible to know God and not know His word. Proverbs 3:5-7 in the Amplified Classic version says, “[5] Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. [6] In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths. [7] Be not wise in your own eyes; reverently fear and worship the Lord and turn [entirely] away from evil.” We come to know God by reading His word and intentionally making time to commune with Him. Through developed intimacy with God, we learn how to resist temptation and trust Him with our lives. I’ve learned that anything that takes my eyes off of God, makes me question my beliefs about God, or disrupts my spiritual routine with God, is the start of misalignment. From there, it is my choice to either resist the temptation to lose focus or give into that temptation. Again, it is so easy to give in because giving in provides that feeling of instant gratification we get so high on. However, the life of God requires our resistance to the things not of God, and resistance is empowered by our commitment to obey God. James 4:7-8 AMPC says, “[7] So be subject to God. Resist the devil [stand firm against him], and he will flee from you. [8] Come close to God and He will come close to you. [Recognize that you are] sinners, get your soiled hands clean; [realize that you have been disloyal] wavering individuals with divided interests, and purify your hearts [of your spiritual adultery].”
Living for God is not easy, but it becomes easier the more we seek His face. Proximity to God eliminates sin from our lives by transforming the way we think. God does not leave us to face our struggles alone. He has gifted those who believe with His own Holy Spirit, who lives within us and empowers us to do what pleases Him. 1 Corinthians 10:13-14 AMPC says, “[13] For no temptation (no trial regarded as enticing to sin), [no matter how it comes or where it leads] has overtaken you and laid hold on you that is not common to man [that is, no temptation or trial has come to you that is beyond human resistance and that is not adjusted and adapted and belonging to human experience, and such as man can bear]. But God is faithful [to His Word and to His compassionate nature], and He [can be trusted] not to let you be tempted and tried and assayed beyond your ability and strength of resistance and power to endure, but with the temptation He will [always] also provide the way out (the means of escape to a landing place), that you may be capable and strong and powerful to bear up under it patiently. [14] Therefore, my dearly beloved, shun (keep clear away from, avoid by flight if need be) any sort of idolatry (of loving or venerating anything more than God).” God hasn’t placed the responsibility of resisting temptation on us without also giving us access to the strength it takes to do so. In order to receive the strength necessary to resist the temptations of this world, we must remain connected to God, who is the source of our strength.
God does not require us to do anything alone, especially when it comes to living for Him. God wants to do life with us, that’s why He chose to live within us. God’s Holy Spirit is our Helper, He wants to help us, but He can only help us as much as we allow Him to. If we’re choosing to walk down paths we’ve chosen for ourselves without first consulting God, or consulting God then ignoring what He instructs us to do, we cannot blame Him when things don’t go our way. God’s no is always protection, and God’s direction will always lead us where we’re supposed to be. We must commit to obedience to resist temptation. We must draw near to God to obey Him. We must believe that all things will come into alignment as we’re walking in God’s perfect will for our lives. We must trust in the all-knowing, all-powerful, all-encompassing, ever-present God of the universe to guide our footsteps. Living for God is not easy, but it is completely possible when we invite Him into every area of our lives to live with us.
Hebrews 4:15-16 AMPC
[15] For we do not have a High Priest Who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation, but One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning. [16] Let us then fearlessly and confidently and boldly draw near to the throne of grace (the throne of God's unmerited favor to us sinners), that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find grace to help in good time for every need [appropriate help and well-timed help, coming just when we need it].
